New Bad Boy Truck Dwarfs the Hummer

[razorjak]

Thanks terminaldogma,

Any man who actually buys one of these may as well just wear a sign that says, "What little penis I actually possess is terminally flaccid."

I can understand montieth and his obsession with large military vehicles. He's a war memoribilia fanatic. That's why I don't tease him about his penis size when he bought a 5 ton truck. But if he bought one of these, I'd buy him a shirt that said "VAGINA" with an arrow pointing at his crotch.

There is no reason that rings true for anyone besides a rescue crew owning one of these.

Comments

[montieth.livejournal.com]

While, I would like to buy a new FMTV, I'd rather have the military version, problem is there aren't enough spare parts out in the system yet to make it close to viable. The fact that it's marketed at the H2 crowd is also a major put off. Frankly, if money weren't an object and I were to get anything on the current made military market, it'd be either a Stryker or a Mk48 PLS. That of course assumes I have enough clams in one place to pay for the fuel costs, the service, and all the other costs that go with such a vehicle.

The thing I like about the FMTVs are:
Shorter wheelbase with cab over configuration
Good off road capability (you have to love the super singles)
New diagnostic system which short tracks you on servicing (think of a dealer's servicing computer in the cab)

Quite likely the in cab computer was removed for this civilian model with removes part of the appeal. I'm more likely to get a
Bedford MJ. Though I have been eyeing something like a Pinz, Valp or Landrover 101 FC. Obviously this class of truck is different than that which my M813A1 or a Bedford would fall into.

If and when I buy a new big truck, it'll be a Deuce that I'll customize the hell out of or something vintage. Either a CMP C60X or perhaps an AEC Matador.

I do have to point out that at least half of my collection (the Ferret and Dingo) fits comfortably into a standard car parking space both in length and width, but also height. The Humber being rather tall and heavy at 7 tons and the M813A1 being rather long and tall as well as heavy (11tons empty, 22 tons fully loaded).

[montieth.livejournal.com]

Oh, one of these is also a possibility. Advantages being, military, go anywhere, able to tow the required trailer to haul the dingo or ferret and well, better than an H2. But also cheaper too.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Like I said, you're after true military toys that you can modify yourself. You don't want the lobotomized and blinged-out civvie versions that are only driven by men with too much money and too little penis.

[montieth.livejournal.com]

Well, the H1s aren't so bad. Interestingly, the CTIS was an option on the HUMMER Civie model before it was a feature of the Military HMMWVs. However, the H2 does little credence to the name. It does not have portal axles and has a more conventional body/frame with out the inherent ground clearance of the HUMMER/H1. The Civie HUMMER can be used quite competently off-road as it's very similar to the HMMWV less some creature comforts that aren't included in the Military contract HMMWVs. The H2 however has far lower ground clearance for it's size and the rigid rear axle rather reduces it's off road capability and axle articulation rather greatly. Its really a tarted up GMC Yukon with a HMMWV/HUMMER stylized body on it. Not much there really.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

That and you can buy a friggin house for what they cost. No thanks.

[montieth.livejournal.com]

They put a lot of tart in the tarting up process. Want to buy a capable HMMWV? Buy a residue chassis and start assembling drive train components on it. You can find doors, windows, roofs and other body components cheap now because they're coming off all the vehicles getting up armored.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Hated driving and maintaining them when I was in uniform. Why would I want one as a civilian?

[montieth.livejournal.com]

Well, it would be yours and you'd be able to do with it as you will.

What's your ideal vehicle? An M151 Mutt? Gamma Goat (evil grin!)?

[montieth.livejournal.com]

'ere ya go. Cheap too. At least in this capacity, you could taunt someone in their $90,000 H2 about how much money they spent. Admittedly those are on the high end, but Jeff's put them back together from lots of bits and such so there's a bunch of work thats been done on them.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Meh ... or in other words.

No Sir, I don't like it.

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

H2 has less cred than an f150.