The Gospel According to St. Bastard

SciFi geek brain kicking it old school.

Coughed up a thicker than normal bit of phlegm and my mind raised to a story I've problem not read in 30 years. I don't remember the title nor the author. Hell, don't even remember where I read it.

Protagonist is a veteran of the war between humanity and an alien species (some type of amoeba-like race akin to the "roller" of the short story "Arena").

Biological warfare was conducted by both sides. Humans came up with a plague they infected captured soldiers of the other race which would spread thru their whole population. Said infected soldiers would never admit to being captured because they'd be instantly killed to keep the disease from spreading.

The other race came up with a parasite that would invade a human soldier either in their sleep or by ambush, hiding in small bodies of water until a victim walked too close. This parasite did not kill the host immediately. It took decades.

Those soldiers who'd been infected with the parasites were condemned to a half life. They couldn't completely function in society anymore but weren't "disabled" enough to be institutionalized.
The parasites couldn't be removed or killed without killing the host. So the infected soldiers were pretty much abandoned by society as a bad reminder of the toll that the war took.

The protagonist's squad mate from the war was one such victim. And he was there when the parasite latched onto his buddy.

His infected buddy begged him to help him commit suicide by 'shuttle into the sun' or something ( I forget the actual details ) when the parasite takes over the friend's body and fights for survival. During the fight, the friend spits out something that appears to be a smaller version of the parasite which latches onto the mouth of the protagonist's girlfriend/fiance/whatever and sending tendrils up her nose. The same manner of infection from the war.

Story ends with the infected friend & the girlfriend being shot out into the sun (or whatever). The protagonist is left with the dilemna of whether he should alert the powers that be about the infected veterans being able to infect others.

And that bubbled up from the depths of my brain from a thicker than normal loogie.

GO BRAIN!

Going into Memorial Day weekend; while your get ready for you cookouts or whatever other celebrations you're planning for the first three day weekend of Summer ... (*) Might I have you take a pause from the grill and think on this?

Especially if you keep fucking blindly voting for these feckless assmunchs because they're white men who have the "right" letter in brackets after their name when they're in the news.

(*) No, that wasn't said through gritting teeth. Not at all.

Dwayne Johnson is leading polls for 2020.

If he does run; I'd most likely vote for him.

Why?

If he runs as a democrat? Honestly, at this point, I'd rather have Warren, Sanders, and Franken stay in congress ans TRY to get things done. So he'd have my vote.

If he ran as a republican? From what I can tell of him, he'd be a more Lincolnian republican instead of the Nixonian slime that makes up the party now.

"But what about his lack of experience?"

BITCH? You fuckers voted for a Russian dressing gargling, narcissistic, tinyhanded, babyman with LESS THAN ZERO experience. Don't even come at me with "lack of experience". Else ye'll git tha back o' me hand!
It really is time we elect ... The People's Champion.

Just an example of why I always make a NYE resolution/wish to have a boring year ... and never make it into February without breaking it ...

So far my day has consisted of:

Getting a frantic IM from a friend at 9am asking for a ride to work. (- Buffalo has an extremely laughable public transit system that spends more on their own pseudopcops than on the actual budget for buslines. So if she misses her morning bus that would get her to work an hour before shift; she's forced to wait on the next one which would get her their two hours late. -)

Having a phone interview for a call center. (- Yes, I am that desperate for money. Seeing as I have STILL not received a single check from unemployment as the Casino is fighting me on it. -)

and telling Patton Oswalt that "It's not as tight as you think."

... Only one cup of coffee so far, to boot.

So the braintrust at Blastr have declared Steampunk dead because of Bieber's new video.

Forgive me for not preparing a eulogy for the trend on the word of an online rag powered by SyFy. Especially since that network has proven time and time again how far from the pulse they truly are in fandom with their Fox-like tendency to kill off fan favorites in favour of more insipid "reality tv" and pro-wrestling.

Bieber trying to latch onto the coat-tails of the trend has as little chance of causing Steampunk's death knell as did "Panic at the Disco" and their attempt. (- I refuse to comment on T-Pain's steampunk foray since Robert designed the outfit. -)

Thinking Steampunk can't survive this and the other insipid latch-ons is as silly as believing Cyberpunk was dead after Billy Idol's "Shock to the System".

The only thing we have to worry about Bieber is the little known fact that he's part of Davie Jone's Army,

SWEET BLACK SODOMIZED JESUS GETTING FELLATED BY MARY AND FELCHED BY JUDAS!!!

The bastards couldn't even let me wait until December before I feel the need to post my rant about the friggin knuckle dragging fuckwits who think there is an organized assault against Christmas by other religions and the atheistic liberals. (- Instead of the ACTUAL Assault against the spirit of the season by the demon known as Corporate Greed. -)

Some inbred genejokes are freaking out claiming that BEST BUY is "REFUSING" to recognize Christmas but have no problem with promoting a Muslim holiday in their Black Friday advertisement.

Of course, the fact that the Muslim holiday happens almost immediately after Thanksgiving and Christmas isn't until NEXT FUCKING MONTH doesn't enter into the stunted brain mass of those drooling douchenozzles.

Gee, maybe BEST BUY is waiting for DECEMBER to acknowledge Christmas? WOW, what a concept!

So ... this year's XMESS RANT is dedicated to the mouthbreathing fucktards who can't seem to understand the concept of a calendar.

...

I wouldn't say anything about the whole WAR ON CHRISTMAS shitefest if idiots would simply keep it where it belongs ... on Faux News ... and being spouted out only by hypocritcal scumfucks like Bill AsshO'reilly and the pineally stunted genejokes on Faux & Frauds.

But nooo! I have to hear it in other venues already. So you all get a repeat of my solution to the so-called War on Christmas.

Stop being cockheads!

Stop being offended because someone's greeting didn't involve blessing the left pinky toe of your sainted uncle as proscribed by the religion you've followed for 5 years.

Stop assuming that because someone DOESN'T say Merry Christmas that they are actually saying "Kill Jesus!"

Just stop. That's it. STOP!

Jesus fuck people! Why can't you all just accept the intent behind what is said instead of dwelling on the words themselves?

I truly don't know which are the biggest idiots:

The Corporate scumfucks who mandate that their wageslavedrones greet people with "Happy Holidays" instead of Happy Hanuka or Merry Christmas or Blessed Yuletide or WHATEVER ...

The Politically Correct fuckwads who've been trying to lobotomize and sanitize every holiday until they have the taste of consistancy of soggy wonderbread. They are the ones who've put pressure on the corporate whores to MAKE them set the policy of saying a bland "Happy Holidays".

The idiot fucks over at FAUX NEWS (especially the pineally stunted retards on Fox & Friends and BILL O'REILLY in specific) for saying there should be government legislature in order to "SAVE" Christmas.

This can all be solved quite easily if EVERYONE just admits they're stupid fucking scumwads and shouldn't be giving the power and influence they've been granted.

People, it's really quite fucking simple. When someone says "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanuka", "Blessed Yuletide" or whatever, they are simply wishing you HAPPY HOLIDAYS in the manner THEY celebrate them. They are not trying to actively spite your own personal faith. Whatever that may be. Accept the glad tidings as what they are. Stop being a cockhead and just ACCEPT!

NONE OF THIS IS IMPORTANT! THERE ARE MAJOR ISSUES THAT DESERVE MUCH MORE ATTENTION THAN THIS!

... With that being said. I heretofore swear that ANYONE talking about the "War on Christmas" in anything other than a joke or with complete disdain risks being struck down by an eggnog scented dildo and skullfucked with misteltoe! Get it? Got it? GOOD!

Grandma is still in the hospital. They've not been able to do the surgery yet. Dammit!

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

65 years ...

I'm not going into a flowery or 'manly' speech.

65 years ...

We remember. We thank you. We will never forget.