The Gospel According to St. Bastard

I've got thick hide and deepset veins. Therefore it is always an adventure when a new medical type tries to start an IV on me.

... Four attempts in the back of my right hand later; I tell the lady to wrap the tournequette around my left bicep. I then flex three times and roll my index finger deep along my inner wrist ...

and while she's watching ... take the damned thing and start my own fucking IV!

"Okay, you can tape it in place now."

The look on her face was priceless.

... Though I paid for it later ...

Guess who has found his first "mild" allergy?

Seems the dye used in the compare/contrast CT Scan doesn't agree with me.

"You will feel a little warmth spread as the dye works it's way through you."

Warmth ... more like ... NAPALM!!!

Oh what a lovely teaparty

I'd love for my pessimism to be proven wrong a few times.

Things have been going too well lately. SOMETHING had to happen.

After my 30 minute visit to the VA clinic turned into 3 1/2 hours. I'm left in between dread and wonder.

Seems I have to go back to Saginaw soon for another series of CT scans. This time for my kidneys and liver. My new doctor is angry that none of my previous quacks considered taking the extra steps of the various bloodwork he ordered simply because I was a new patient to him.

Seems the reason I've been getting sick more often lately than ANY other time in my life is due to shite that should've been caught in a thorough screening ages ago.

...

It really shows what my mindset is when the first thing I think is, "Who'll take care of my cats?", if "something" happens.

And it REALLY nonreassuring when the doctor starts out his diagnosis and discussion by asking if I'd like to speak with a shrink in order to 'come to resolutions' over difficulties I may have in the future.

...

Of course, to compound the issues, my mum calls almost immediately as I leave the clinic. I swear that woman is psychic!

Sooo, yeah. In the foreseeable future, I doubt I'll get more than one or two days in between physical visits from her.

...

I knew things were going too well.