razorjak: (Default)
Annnnnd so it begins again.

Every year, I like to imagine that my fellow countrymen have finally grown above the influence of the "Shameful Bonafide Hypocrite"(*).

Every year, I believe I can retire my "War on Christmas" rant.

Every year, some fuckhead dashes those hopes.

This year, the first actual face-to-face fuckhead (I don't count when Asshole'Reilly or Faux &
Frauds starts in on it. Or when that asswipe Utah Senator announced a proposal to "encourage" Utah businesses to mandate their employees saying "Merry Christmas".) incident happened this afternoon.

I had just finished paying for my groceries when I overheard "We say MERRY CHRISTMAS here! I want to speak to your manager!" coming from a few registers down.

Looking over to the noise, I see a corpulent jackass with an angry red face, seething at the checkout clerk. His equally porcine wife was just as angry. The two kids in tow were seemingly mortified at their parents antics.

Sooo, this year, my rant is dedicated to the twatwaffle SUV driver and his bloated wife who actually COMPLAINED to the manager because an underpaid checkout chick said HAPPY HANUKAH instead of MERRY CHRISTMAS.

...

I wouldn't say anything about the whole WAR ON CHRISTMAS shitefest if idiots would simply keep it where it belongs ... on Faux News ... and being spouted out only by hypocritcal scumfucks like Bill AsshO'reilly and the pineally stunted genejokes on Faux & Frauds.

But nooo! I have to hear it in other venues already. So you all get a repeat of my solution to the so-called War on Christmas.

Stop being cockheads!

Stop being offended because someone's greeting didn't involve blessing the left pinky toe of your sainted uncle as proscribed by the religion you've followed for 5 years.

Stop assuming that because someone DOESN'T say Merry Christmas that they are actually saying "Kill Jesus!"

Just stop. That's it. STOP!

Jesus fuck people! Why can't you all just accept the intent behind what is said instead of dwelling on the words themselves?

I truly don't know which are the biggest idiots:

The Corporate scumfucks who mandate that their wageslavedrones greet people with "Happy Holidays" instead of Happy Hanuka or Merry Christmas or Blessed Yuletide or WHATEVER ...

The Politically Correct fuckwads who've been trying to lobotomize and sanitize every holiday until they have the taste of consistancy of soggy wonderbread. They are the ones who've put pressure on the corporate whores to MAKE them set the policy of saying a bland "Happy Holidays".

The idiot fucks over at FAUX NEWS (especially the pineally stunted retards on Fox & Friends and BILL O'REILLY in specific) for saying there should be government legislature in order to "SAVE" Christmas.

This can all be solved quite easily if EVERYONE just admits they're stupid fucking scumwads and shouldn't be giving the power and influence they've been granted.

People, it's really quite fucking simple. When someone says "Merry Christmas", "Happy Hanuka", "Blessed Yuletide" or whatever, they are simply wishing you HAPPY HOLIDAYS in the manner THEY celebrate them. They are not trying to actively spite your own personal faith. Whatever that may be. Accept the glad tidings as what they are. Stop being a cockhead and just ACCEPT!

NONE OF THIS IS IMPORTANT! THERE ARE MAJOR ISSUES THAT DESERVE MUCH MORE ATTENTION THAN THIS!

... With that being said. I heretofore swear that ANYONE talking about the "War on Christmas" in anything other than a joke or with complete disdain risks being struck down by an eggnog scented dildo and skullfucked with misteltoe! Get it? Got it? GOOD!

...

(*)A telling use of subliminal truth in advertising ... Asshole'Reilly's book "A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity" anagrams out to "Shameful Bonafide Hypocrite".

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