New Bad Boy Truck Dwarfs the Hummer

[razorjak]

Thanks terminaldogma,

Any man who actually buys one of these may as well just wear a sign that says, "What little penis I actually possess is terminally flaccid."

I can understand montieth and his obsession with large military vehicles. He's a war memoribilia fanatic. That's why I don't tease him about his penis size when he bought a 5 ton truck. But if he bought one of these, I'd buy him a shirt that said "VAGINA" with an arrow pointing at his crotch.

There is no reason that rings true for anyone besides a rescue crew owning one of these.

Comments

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Like I said, you're after true military toys that you can modify yourself. You don't want the lobotomized and blinged-out civvie versions that are only driven by men with too much money and too little penis.

[montieth.livejournal.com]

Well, the H1s aren't so bad. Interestingly, the CTIS was an option on the HUMMER Civie model before it was a feature of the Military HMMWVs. However, the H2 does little credence to the name. It does not have portal axles and has a more conventional body/frame with out the inherent ground clearance of the HUMMER/H1. The Civie HUMMER can be used quite competently off-road as it's very similar to the HMMWV less some creature comforts that aren't included in the Military contract HMMWVs. The H2 however has far lower ground clearance for it's size and the rigid rear axle rather reduces it's off road capability and axle articulation rather greatly. Its really a tarted up GMC Yukon with a HMMWV/HUMMER stylized body on it. Not much there really.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

That and you can buy a friggin house for what they cost. No thanks.

[montieth.livejournal.com]

They put a lot of tart in the tarting up process. Want to buy a capable HMMWV? Buy a residue chassis and start assembling drive train components on it. You can find doors, windows, roofs and other body components cheap now because they're coming off all the vehicles getting up armored.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Hated driving and maintaining them when I was in uniform. Why would I want one as a civilian?

[montieth.livejournal.com]

Well, it would be yours and you'd be able to do with it as you will.

What's your ideal vehicle? An M151 Mutt? Gamma Goat (evil grin!)?

[montieth.livejournal.com]

'ere ya go. Cheap too. At least in this capacity, you could taunt someone in their $90,000 H2 about how much money they spent. Admittedly those are on the high end, but Jeff's put them back together from lots of bits and such so there's a bunch of work thats been done on them.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Meh ... or in other words.

No Sir, I don't like it.

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

H2 has less cred than an f150.