(no subject)

[razorjak]

Okay people. Let's get something straight.

That pink, blue or chocolate swill you're drinking? Yeah, it's not a martini. It's a cocktail served in a martini glass. That does not make it a martini.

A martini is gin, the barest hint of vermouth and olive. I will begrudgingly allow a vodka martini to be called such. BUT THAT IS IT! Full stop. The martini train stops there.

Seeing the words martini bastardized like the 20 and 30 something crowd has been doing the last few years sends my blood boiling. In fact I've walked out of places if I see they have a "martini menu". THERE IS NO MARTINI MENU. What is on a MARTINI MENU? Dry or Dirty?

Sure some of those cocktails taste delicious. But they are NOT martinis. If I would piss in a martini glass and drop a cocktail onion in the yellow brine, THAT would be closer to a martini than an "appletini".

* sipping on a green apple cocktail at the moment *

Comments

[montieth.livejournal.com]

You never struck me as a Martini kind of guy. Not even a cocktail kind of guy. More of a dark beer and straight scotch kind of fellow, perhaps even molsen at poor moments, but never martinis.... wtf?


;-)

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

*chuckles*

I do like dark beer, especially chocolate porter. I never touch scotch. I don't even COOK with molsen.

But I'm very much the cocktail man. Always have been.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

A gin-and-vermouth with an onion is a gibson.

So no, your creme du menthe abortion is not even close to a fucking martini.

Thank you.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

YAY!

You know the scary thing? I've had to explain a gimlet to bartenders before who reached for vodka.

[lupusyondergir1.livejournal.com]

Got you beat.
Ordered a screwdriver at Mulligans a couple months back.
The bartender, who had "huge tracts of land" but not much upstairs, disapeared to the back room.

Returned to say "we don't have one, would a butter knife work?"

I said, "no, the drink."

She said "oh, I'm sorry. What's in that?"

[jenafi.livejournal.com]

i see you're friends with poppy too ;)

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Heh, scary thing is, didn't read that until after I posted.

[nimue-amethyst.livejournal.com]

Had the chocolate thing. It pretty much sucked, but they may not have used enough chocolate liqueur for my taste. Or maybe it's because they used Godiva. Not a big Godiva fan. But my favorite will always be an amaretto sour, I was just looking to try something different at the time.

Or grog. Love grog...real grog anyways, not the stuff they have written down in drink mixing books. Real grog is watered-down spiced rum with lemon and cinnamon, preferably warmed with cinnamon sticks in it, but adding cinnamon syrup instead works. That's what they researched and served for Pirates of the Caribbean. Yarr.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

*hangs head in shame*

See, I do go to places where they have martini menus, and the nice people there make me yummy drinks in all sorts of flavours. Can I still go there if I promise to call is "going out for cocktails" instead of "going out for martinis"?

I do like "proper" martinis and gibsons, although the first time I ordered a martini, they asked me so many questions that I nearly gave up. Gin or vodka, shaken or stirred, twist ot olive? Gah! Does a dirty martini count as a real martini?

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Yes a dirty martini counts as a real martini. So do the ones I grew to love and can never get anymore. There was this one place that made dirty martinis with anchovy stuffed olives.

Heaven I tell you.

[the-mad-magyar.livejournal.com]

AMEN!!!

Gin is teh win!

[algernon33.livejournal.com]

PREACH ON BROTHER!!

Appletini Hmm... you are SO Teh Ghey :>)

Where the Fook is Mine?

-A33

Non-drinker question

[perrrfect-angel.livejournal.com]

What is the difference between a dry and a dirty martini? Always been curious, but your post brought it up again. Fill me in, please Jak?

Re: Non-drinker question

[the-mad-magyar.livejournal.com]

Somebody peed in the "dirty" martini.

Re: Non-drinker question

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

A dirty martini is a martini that has a splash of the olive brine added to it.

Re: Non-drinker question

[arethinn]

For "dry", see http://www.drinkboy.com/Essays/ThePerfectMartini.html under "Vermouth". (it's not the opposite of "dirty" - like wines, the opposite/default is "sweet")

Re: Non-drinker question

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Yeah I may have been a bit unclear in that regard.

For the life of me though? I've never seen anyone order a sweet martini. Only thing I use sweet vermouth for (cocktailwise) is for negronis.