Holiday shopping fun

[razorjak]

That's me. Just a regular ray of fuckin' sunshine.

One of my pet peeves that will send me up the spout without fail are people too lazy to put their shopping cart in one of the corrals that most stores and supermarkets have in their parking lots. It's exponentially more irritating when said corral is two parking spots from the asshat in question.

After finishing up some VERY last minutes shopping at the Meijers' in Ludington after work today, I noticed some fuck in an SUV put his "heavy load" ( 4 grocery bags ) that so demanded the use of the gas-guzzling monstrosity that he was piloting. He then put his shopping cart BEHIND the car next to him. The cart corral was only two spots from his gashog. Pushing it to the next spot meant he was less than ten feet from it!

Of course, my civic mindedness (and the chance to be an asshole to a stupid fucker) demanded I intervene.

While walking up to the SUV as he was getting in, I made a show of looking at the front of the vehicle. As if I saw something under it or I was checking the license plate out. The dolt didn't notice me until I was up to the driver's side window and knocking on it.

As he rolled the window down to ask me what I wanted, I looked at his rear-view mirror.

"What are you looking at?" queried Lazy McLaziness.

"Sir, are you handicapped in any way?"

"No, why? I wasn't parked in a handicapped spot." replied Lazy.

"I know this sir. I was just curious as to what level of handicapped, either physically or mentally, one had to be in order to push a cart ONE DAMNED SPOT away from the corral and not go the extra distance and put it away properly."

Lazy started getting a bit irritated, " I'm in a hurry."

"I figured that. That's why I am wasting at least three times the time it would have taking you to be courteous."

At this he muttered fuck you and tried to drive of as he rolled his window up. This is when he realized I had ahold of his side-mirror.

"Drive off and the mirror stays with me."

...

Just doing my part to spread the holiday cheer to crackerjack fuckers one and all.

Comments

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

I love you.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Yeah yeah, you just love me because I remind you of a taller Ogre. :-)

Have you two thought of D*C next year yet? Seems we've a bit of a mob interested now.

[sirriamnis.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I'm kind of planning on World Horror in SF in May, I'm not sure we can swing both.

[ashesnfeathers.livejournal.com]

I like to refer to the corrals as "Cart Art."

And my big pet peeve is the idiots who put the carts in the handicaped spots. Drove me nutz when I used to take my Gramma shoppin.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Or weekend motorcycle enthuists who park in the hashmarks of handicap van loading/unloading spots.

Makes me want to tip the things over. But I repress that urge as it's not the ironhorse's fault it's master is a fucktard.

[gruamach.livejournal.com]

I know I've said this before, but....


I love you man.

My hero!

[perrrfect-angel.livejournal.com]

Jak... you're my hero. That sort of thing always irritates me, too. I usually take my cart all the way back inside if I take it out, and often collect other "strays" on my way into the store to shop. It's a small thing, but makes life a little easier for others.

Happy Holidays!

[flameswithin.livejournal.com]

Awesome.

BALLS. You got 'em.

[ex-unagothae16.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. Absolutely lovely. I am feeling the holiday cheer now :D

[baronesskimchi.livejournal.com]

I thought of you last night.
I was shopping at Premier for gifts and I saw that they named an ale after you.
Arrogant Bastard Ale.
I grabbed Balazs, pointed at it and said "look, they named it after Jak!"
:P :P :P

Have a Merry Christmas!

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAH

and it's good damned beer too :-)

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

If I were bigger, I'd try such things, too. Go you! I also thought of you the other night when seeing a beverage at Meijer: Red Jak!

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

Saw that for the first time on the move from Buffalo back to BFE. Of course I had to buy one and try it.

It takes significantly less like ass than the other energy drinks.

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

Hm. Damning with faint praise? Or perhaps pfaint raise? (whjeee! aklyhol!)

[carriemonster.livejournal.com]

happy holidays to you!!

nothing like spreading a little cheer through out the land! =D

[the--owner.livejournal.com]

HEHEHE !

I miss you Jak.

[ashbet]

You win for the day :D

I can't even *imagine* not putting the damn cart back when I'm done with it . . . and it's really disturbing as a functioning sociopath to know that *I'm* more considerate than the general run of human beings.

@_o

Heh, I had to run to the Temple of Commerce a few days ago with Kira, and wound up saying to her, "I'm not claustrophobic, I'm just hostile!"

-- A ;P

[algernon33.livejournal.com]

This is Our Jak!..

You So Fucking Rawk...

-A33

[littlecrow.livejournal.com]

I ripped into my mother for this the other day. I ALWAYS take my cart back to the corral. Nowadays places stick so many of them out there it's almost impossible to be far away from one anyway. The worst ones are at IKEA - the cart wheels are so loose and free spinning that the damn things glide and get blown all over the parking lot, usually into other peoples cars.

Have a Shiny Holiday!

Jack

[midnightd.livejournal.com]

Ya need to take your journal and sell it as a book look at the link on my journal it archives the thing and makes it printable soo you can make it into a coffee table book. I seriously think someone will buy it. Your rants make me almost nasal discharge milk.