Saturday night, caught a fratboy starting to piss on the glass door of the club. Little fuck was so drunk he didn't even notice me coming up and kicking the door open, hence causing him to piss all over himself and bounce out onto the sidewalk.
The boy was about 1/5 my size and for a second actually looked like he was going to throw down(1), his eyes unglazed and focused. He panned from my boots to the top of my watchcap. Then simply said in a very sheepish voice, "Sorry" and walked off with his own piss all over his jeans and jacket.
I'd been in pain the entire night because of my back. That lil adrenaline burst actually made me feel okay for about an hour. Then I went back to feeling like total shit for the last hour before I could get everyone out the door.
So, pisspants fratboy, congratulations. You worked better than 800mg of Motrin.
(1) Why is it always the little ones and females?
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