razorjak: (Default)
BrickJAK ([personal profile] razorjak) wrote2007-01-04 08:39 pm

Dave Meyers ... the American Uwe Boll?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455960/

I seriously want to go to Hollywood with a friggin 40 pound maul and start caving in the heads of anyone who uses the word "re-imagining" when referring to their directing of a lubeless assraping of a classic.

Why the fuck ANYONE would give this project to a fucktard who has previously only done music videos for asshats like britney Spears and Creed I have no idea.

[identity profile] lupusyondergir1.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
So, I've come up with perhaps the worst remake ever.
It could make me rich. Or get me shot in a back alley.

See, strong women are hot these days. So are slutty blonds. And killers.
So I figure, combine the three. Remake Reservoir Dogs with an all woman cast.
Featuring Paris Hilton as Ms. Pink, Britney Spears as Nice Gal Edie, and Lindsey Lohan as Ms. Orange.

[identity profile] razorjak.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 02:06 am (UTC)(link)

... Dare I ask who Ms. Blonde would be?

[identity profile] lupusyondergir1.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
Do you even have to?
My god, the part was pratically made for the Olsen twins.

I see them acting in tandem, as a sort of anorexic Greek chorus.

[identity profile] lupa.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
it would have been a LOT better if they'd just re-used Rutger.

[identity profile] razorjak.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)

Even at the low point in his career, I don't think Rutger would touch that steaming pile for all of King Midas' silver.

[identity profile] momus.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 06:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Most definitely makes my
"Will not see under any fucking circumstances" list.
Saw a preview for that and I wanted to throw something heavy and inconvenient at my television.
Then it made me want to go watch the original.

[identity profile] razorjak.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)

I need to get that on DVD. My VHS copy is on it's last legs.

This remake may prove to be even WORSE than the sequal they shat out in '03.

[identity profile] the-gargoyle.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I vote for a re-imagining of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" as a slapstick comedy, starring Tom Cruise as the wacky Mr. Dark.


...Was that Boromir as John Ryder?

[identity profile] razorjak.livejournal.com 2007-01-05 08:54 pm (UTC)(link)

Indeed it is. Which is why the title of this post about this shitfest was almost:

"One does not simply walk into Remake Hell. One has to hitch a ride."