To be truly happy

I just want a job that:

does not make me want to kill 3/4 of the human population
allows for my class schedules each semester
pays enough so I can: pay my rent and bills
: buy the occassional DVD, CD or Lego set
: take at least one small trip a year for a long weekend

That's all I need. That's all I want. Why can I not find it?