you know what's hilarious, and very difficult to call the cops about? making it *look* like something's wrong with the bike. squirting oil around the engine and in a pool under the bike, brake fluid around the pipes or reservoir, puddles of fuel undeer it, that kind of thing. hours of fun! with cars, auto tranny fluid is a good one.

alternately, get a pro to steal the bike and sell it on. folks who do that kind of thing are often happy to help.