May. 24th, 2009

razorjak: (Default)
There we go. I was wondering when it happen. Waking up screaming from dreams spawned of memories, regrets and "what ifs" ... The fuckers started late in an attempt to take me offguard.

They're especially bad this year it seems. Seeing as I'd be retired from the military now if things had gone a different route. That or dead.

So far today I've woken up five times from bad dreams.

The most fucked up one involved dealing cards to three soldiers I served with in different units:

One being a fuck-up suspected of being involved in shady dealings ... He was sitted at the table looking like he did when his body was discovered, mangled and broken only a few yards from where my company usually set up bivouac while on field exercises.

One was a former drinking buddy who married a korean national ... he was seated at the table with one hand pressing a towel to the back of his head in an attempt to keep his brains from leaking out through the exit wound of the self-inflicted gunshot he used to take the cowards way out.

The last is an old colleague who disappeared off the radar about a year after I got out. I have no idea whatever happened to him. He looked like a transparent shade made from decades of bad whiskeyjoint smoke.

I had dealt them ALL aces & eights from a single deck.

Jesus! And people wonder why I never got into hallucinigenics? I don't even want to think of what fucked up trips I'd be dealing with!

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